I write...

For me, for my past self, for my future self.
For girls and young women like me

For those who are struggling

For those who have known struggle

For those who seek to understand the struggle of others

I always loved to read, but..

 

My passion for writing started in middle school, when I felt most alone and confused. At that time, I used writing as a way to create a world I could escape into because reality was too hard to face. My educational advisor told me my writing made people feel. I didn't realize at the time how much I would rely on this power to provoke empathy in others later in life.

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In high school, I used writing to process my trauma and share my story of loss in early and middle childhood. My summer program creative writing mentor spoke to my use of writing to truly cultivate my passion to advocate for children struggling with sadness and loss. I also, I used my writing to be a voice for the young women I taught English to in Tanzania. I journaled a lot to document and process my experiences abroad, never wanting to forget exactly what I did and how I felt in those moments. Additionally, I wrote applications to over 17 colleges when application season came senior year. 

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In college I pushed writing away; I pushed a lot of my past away. Michigan was my fresh start with budding opportunities and experiences I'd only ever seen on TV at my fingertips. It didn't take long for me to realize I was a lot better at writing papers than I was at studying for exams. After many trips to my favorite advisor at the SweetLand Writing Center I finally committed to the minor in writing my junior year.
This semester, the experiments for the Minor in Writing Gateway Course have provided a space for me to process my break-up with a group of young women (and one young man) who had their own stories of resilience and strength. Through actively practicing vulnerability and courage I have been able to find myself in a number of ways.

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I have also found writing is one of the only ways I will truly "never forget". When you have suffered traumatic loss and grief alongside other traumatic events you can have memory loss, I do. Additionally, when you suffer from Complex-PTSD your mind has a way of playing tricks on you by distorting your memories of the past, altering your perceptions of the present, and encouraging you to seek to control your future. Your brain is just trying to protect you from the pain; protect you from the feelings associated with loss: grief. 

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I write because it’s allowed me to document myself, ensuring that I never forget how far I’ve come. I write because I think empathizing is important, I think communicating is important, I think sharing our stories is important. I write because there’s so much stigma and discomfort around being vulnerable in today’s culture and I have been searching for a way to share my story and encourage others to share theirs in hopes of promoting an environment where humans feel seen and heard even in their messiest states. I’ve googled enough to know I’m not alone in my feelings of self doubt, anxiety, and battling the darkness.When you write you are able to process, document, and let the tough shit go. When you share you are able to be seen, heard, and validated.

 

I write to make myself stronger through writing, but I also seek to share that writing in hopes of making others strong. 

No one should ever feel they have to go through something alone. 

Especially when we are all going through it in some way or another.

You are not alone.