The Experiments:
My Cathartic Journey
The "Breakup"
Podcast
Podcast | What Now?
Un-cuffing season hit us all hard starting the winter of 2019 and moving into the spring of 2020, so I thought it might be worthwhile to start a podcast for college girls by college girls covering all the B's from booze, to boys, to breakups and trying to find the balance in undergrad. Unfortunately, trying to find the balance resulted in burning some bridges and What Now? went from a fun project with my little to a solo project with my baddies bashing boys. After 7 episodes, I realized I'd outgrown ruminating in the heartbreak and I was ready to rebrand in the change.
The
Survey
Hook-Up Culture | Do we even like it?
What the hell are we all looking for in college? A college sweetheart? Or just a warm body? What is love? Is there something about being Catholic that makes boys date me? Do we date to marry or just date to have fun?
I was beside myself in trying to uncover the answers about what people are looking for in college relationships. I came to college trying to fulfill some dream created by shows like Greek on ABCFamily and movies like Sorority Wars and Sydney White. I wanted my college Greek love story, so when I finally found a frat boy to date me I did everything in my power to make it work, but sometimes that isn't enough. Following the breakup I found my tribe. We had GroupChats where we'd send the worst tinder profiles we could find. I was so sick of swiping.
Verse 1
Before you I was on a wild ride, but you played me high tide over low tide
I thought everything would be okay
But then you changed your mind that day
Gave me all the songs that now bring me to tears…
Shared with him my deepest fears
Chorus
All you wanted was to have a good time
But a good time can break your heart sometimes (oh it can break your heart some times)
A good time can break your heart sometimes
Verse 2
I ignored the signs, right place, wrong time
Everything you say is so cliché
You stop responding and I don’t blame you
cus its not fair for me to shame you
Chorus
All you wanted was to have a good time
But a good time can break your heart sometimes (oh it can break your heart some times)
A good time can break your heart sometimes
Outro
Shame, shame, shame
I was a fool for you
And I’ll never get how losing me was cool with you
Verse 1
I thought you were a country boy
Thought you’d bring me so much joy
You said Everything I’d ever wanted to hear
But now you left me standing here
Pre chorus:
I resisted you
Pushed you away
But after about 7 days I came crawling back
Into your bed
That’s when everything went red
Chorus
Red red red, red flags
Red flags everywhere…
Red red red, red flags
Red flags everywhere…
Verse 2
You told me Corona with Lime was fine
But you really made me fall in love with bud light lime
School spirit and dressing up was always my thing
But you helped me fall in love with the power of a Michigan football game
Pre Chorus:
Nothing ever felt sweeter than you calling my name
But now all you’ve left me is alone and ashamed
Maybe it was the way you counted the colors in my eyes
Or the way there was no love in your goodbyes
Chorus(repeats)
Bridge
You called her psycho, guess now I’m crazy too
Did you ever consider it’s from the hell you put us through?
Watching you walk out that door was the hardest thing I ever had to do
And when you left me at the airport lord I never knew
Chorus(repeats)
Outro
My friends asked me if I cared
You already know, the answer’s no.
The
Country Songs
Music | Why?
Through a significant time spent making Spotify playlists, lurking on my ex's Apple Music, and using lyrics.com to find songs to describe what I was going through I decided to write a country song. Since November 26, 2019 I have been nauseated by country music, it broke me and I never wanted it to influence my emotions again. I poured myself into Chelsea Cutler and Olivia Obrien. As time passed and I began to heal, I realized my affinity for country music dates back to the beginning of adolescence with Taylor Swift, who consequently has helped me process every relationship related feeling. Taylor's catalog brought me back to a simpler time and to one of my favorite songs, Tim McGraw. "I was right there beside him, all summer long. But then with time we woke-up to find that summer'd gone...When you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think my favorite song" is exactly how I felt. A great, passionate, adolescent summer love that got lost. Additionally, I resented the lyrics of Kenny Chesney, Luke Combs, Dan+Shay, and Old Dominion for allowing my ex to express his lust for me through music and make me fall in love. Revisiting his music recently allowed me to confront the fact that I fell in love with a feeling and not a person. The way country music makes me feel everything all at once in the best conceivable way represents the power of music at any stage and in any situation. Additionally, thanks to COVID-19 Quarantine boredom my ex became a SoundCloud DJ and so did I *eye roll* (links below).